Your face is a jimmy john
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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