Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
