oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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