am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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