Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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