Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I will be naked everywhere
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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