I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
