I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize