I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
