Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
