I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
