gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
