To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
