hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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