quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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