At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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