We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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