I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
