I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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