first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
