no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
