My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize