I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
