I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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