CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
