Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize