Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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