Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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