we have pet lesbian snakes
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
