I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize