i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
