I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
