maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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