just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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