Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
