is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
