Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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