You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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