Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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