some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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