i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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