even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
