they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm at about main and main street
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize