I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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