So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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