I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Say something about gay babies.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
