he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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