talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
