And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
