her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize