So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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