I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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