I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
id be glad to
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
