went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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