Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize