He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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