your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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