K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
