so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
